Invitation to Transparency

When my church plant began it was perfect.

We had a full roster of mature leaders whowere experts at shared leadership and conflict transformation. There were peopleeager to be discipled in the way of Jesus and willing to substantially committo that endeavor. Because of the relational depth we had cultivated, we agreedon everything, and our gatherings went off without a hitch as everyoneexperienced personal flourishing serving in ways that perfectly resonated withtheir unique giftedness.  

And then I woke up, and my perfect communitydrifted back into dreamland!

Conflict

Friends, the good news is authentic communityisn’t like that. And, in fact, that might be even better news than we think. Conflictis a fact of life that is a part of every community’s experience. But conflictalso presents an opportunity to experience growth, transformation, and love indeeply meaningful ways. We might dream about the “perfect community” but thekind of rich and deep community created as we navigate all the ups and downs oflife together is so much more beautiful in the long run.

My community and I experienced the value ofnavigating conflict in a way that leads to authenticity 3 months into the startof our weekly dinner & worship gatherings. We faced significant hardshipwhen a founding leader left amid conflict. It was a painful loss for everyoneinvolved, but it was also a leadership and community crucible that coulddestroy our young and fragile plant. But by the grace of God and the wisdom ofour Core Leadership Team (Core Team), it didn’t. In fact, navigating thisconflict led to greater authenticity, transparency, and love in our community.As we reflected on how this happened, we could see a pattern emerge. From aplace of Conflict, we moved into naming our Fears, from honesty in Fear wemoved into practices of Trust, and the fruit of those practices developedgreater Transparency.

This is the Invitation to Transparency Cycle:

Fear

As aleader navigating this conflict, I had to come face to face with some of my ownworst fears.

I was afraid of being a failure.

I was afraid people would be hurt.

I was afraid this would breed even greaterconflict.

Even though all those emotions came roaringto the surface, I also desperately wanted to lead with a deep and authenticsense of transparency and trust. As I shared honestly about these fears with myCore Team, they shared honestly about their fears as well. Our first fewmeetings after this conflict arose were mostly talking about what we wereafraid of: failure on all fronts was a big one. We were afraid people wouldleave the Core Team (and they did, and it was right for them). We were afraidof hurting people who had already experienced significant church-hurt. We wereafraid of having to start over. Those were just a few.

Making our fears visible helped us realizewhat the rest of our community might also be afraid of. And it enabled us tostart to chart pathways of trust. After mourning our loss and naming our fearswe needed to create some opportunities to help rebuild the trust among us. 

Trust

These pathways included individual andcommunity movements. My Core Team asked me to meet with my spiritual directormore often in this season and to let them know that I was doing that. Fiveweeks after this conflict arose, I went on a long weekend retreat. I did notwant to go. It was an act of trust in God and also in my Core Team’sdiscernment to say yes to that. And it proved to be an incredibly formativetime in which God brought substantial healing to me.

Members of the Core Team and I met one on onewith every person who was a part of our community. We were honest with themabout the profound sense of loss we were feeling and about our fears. Thisvulnerability made room for them to share their own fears. We shared about whathad happened as openly as possible, while respecting the privacy of those notat the table. We sought to answer questions openly and I was honest about myown leadership mistakes. We wept together, and we all entered a season of morefervent prayer for each other and our community.

Transparency

Then we started telling stories. You see, thevulnerability of the Core Team had created space for others to be authenticabout their feelings. People were meeting for coffee, not to gossip about theconflict but to share their hurt and their hope. People were praying togetherfor our community and the Holy Spirit was showing up in profound ways. It wasaround this time that we developed a practice of sharing every week at ourdinner gathering where we had experienced God’s presence that week. That is somethingwe still do today.

The transformation we were experiencing wasan invitation to greater transparency. As a planter, cultivating personaltransparency and trust in your life with God deeply informs the culture oftransparency and trust in your community, which in turn brings health andflourishing to your life together and your witness to the world.