Narratives in Silence
“We are shaped by our stories.
And these stories, or narratives are running and (often ruining) our lives.”
[James Bryan Smith][1]
Discerning God’sdirection in life is often messy and confusing. The stories that we have pickedup in life often times do not serve us well. We need regular periods of silenceto help us identify these stories, examine them with God, and replace them withthe truth of Jesus.
Whole-life formation inthe Jesus Way begins to occur when we start to pay attention and trust Jesuswith our entire lives: HEAD (ideas,thoughts, assumptions), HEART (emotions, desires, passions), HANDS(actions, choices, habits).
Jesus was very concernedwith what his original 12 disciples thought about - what they thought aboutGod, what they thought about themselves, and what they thought about living inthis world.
Jesus knew that if realformation was going to take place in his disciples, then they were going tohave to recognize the false stories or narratives that were directing theirlives.
The narratives orstories we believe and live by shape our understanding of God, ourselves, andthe world. Unfortunately, we all have believed false narratives and these liesare directing our lives. We all have untrue understandings of what God is like,our identity, and what “the good life” is all about.
“The time has come. The kingdom of God has come near.
Repent and believe the good news!”
[Mark 1:15]
The word repent in theGreek literally means “a change of mind.” Jesus is essentially saying “Changethe way you have been thinking - a life of interaction and intimacy with God isavailable to you now.” Following Jesus has a lot to do with having our mindscontinually changed to his way of thinking about what God is like, ouridentity, and what it means to live a “good life” in this world.
We need to continually be identifying, naming, and exposing the false narratives that drive our lives so that we can fully receive the true narratives of Jesus and his kingdom.
“What comes into our mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
[A.W. Tozer][2]
Identifying false narratives from our families
The narratives that we live out in our lives can be influenced by many different sources, but the three big influences are: family, culture, and religion. Our family of origin impacts the way we understand God, ourselves, and life.
Our family of origin isan extremely large influence in our formation, whether we like it or not. Andthere is nothing wrong with that. The problem is when we go through lifewithout realizing how we have been shaped by our family narratives and values.
When we are unable or unwilling to identify and name false narratives in our lives, it becomes increasingly difficult to hear God and discern his will because we are living by false narratives rather than true narratives.
The messages and scriptsthat are handed down to us are not always healthy, true, empowering, wise, orloving. These false narratives end up forming us in unhealthy ways and we getinto ruts if these messages go left unexamined and transformed.
Below are some common examples of falsenarratives that often stem (consciously or unconsciously) from our family oforigin.
- “I am alone.”
- “God will love me if…”
- “Loud, angry, constant fighting is normal.”
- “Something terrible will happen if I make amistake.”
- “Money is the best source of security.”
- “Duty to family comes before everything.”
- “Nice girls don’t get angry and big boys don’tcry.”
- “Men can be promiscuous, women must be chaste.”
- “Conflict and tension is bad and should beavoided.”
- “Sadness is a sign of weakness.”
- “Reacting with your feelings without thinkingis okay.”
Jesus’ desire and dreamis for us to experience his abundant freedom and life - for us to live in hisFather’s available kingdom of healing, hope, and love. Jesus wants us to tastehis fruit - intimacy with God, self-awareness, joy, discernment between truthand lies, and deep inner peace.
“The process of spiritual formation in Christ is one of progressively replacing…destructive images and ideas with the images and ideas that filled the mind of Jesus himself. Spiritual formation in Christ moves toward a total interchange of our ideas and images for his.”
[Dallas Willard][3]
In order to experienceJesus’ freedom then we have to pay attention to our narratives and how theyinfluence our lives. Particularly the narratives that have become so deeplyformed in us from our families of origin.
The primary way thatJesus did this in his own life - the main way that Jesus resisted thetemptation to live by false narratives - was to spend consistent time with the Fatherin solitude and silence. When we read the gospels, we notice that Jesus had aregular rhythm of getting off by himself to be with God.
“Silence is God’s first language; everything else is a poor translation.”
[Thomas Keating][4]
Many people are afraidto engage in solitude and silence because it is a bit foreign in our society.Or because they are concerned about what may come up in themselves. No matterwhat may be exposed, we can take great comfort in our God’s love, grace, andacceptance of us. We have no reason to be afraid.
Doinga Desert Day
A Desert Day is a 3-4hour block of time to get alone, listen to God, and pay attention to thenarratives that run our lives. This was a key practice of Jesus because it isonly in solitude that some of our hidden, false narratives can be exposed. There’s something about being alone withourselves and God that exposes what we truly think and believe.
It is also where we canmore clearly hear and receive the voice of God. It’s where we can receive Jesus’narratives in our lives. We can hear and receive the truth about God,ourselves, and the world as we engage in solitude and silence. We often spendlots of time on all sorts of things, but neglect the time to examine our livesand enlarge our souls.
The goal for this timeis to begin recognizing and naming our narratives - both true and falsenarratives, allowing the Spirit to highlight areas of our lives that have goneunexamined.
We open ourselves up toGod’s loving presence, asking the Spirit to guide us to truth.
We can face ourselvesand the ways we have been malformed because we are loved so fiercely by God.
Join a Fall 2019 Learning Cohort
[1]The Good and Beautiful Life by James Bryan Smith
[2]The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer
[3]Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard
[4]Invitation to Love by Thomas Keating